AUTHOR: Jason & Traci TITLE: Perspectives... DATE: 7/21/2006 10:52:00 AM ----- BODY:

Yesterday I spent about 2 hours in front of the camera. I filmed about 6 songs, 4 of which I'm happy with. The filming went well. Its so frustrating to get 3 minutes and 12 seconds into a 3 1/2 minute song and hit yourself in the eye while trying to look graceful. The vids will be edited this weekend (hopefully) and be posted by mid week. Don't hold me to that, I'm using free labor.

You know what anorexia is, right? Not the the eating disorder side of it, the mental picture side of it. Anorexics see themselves as fat no matter how thin they are. Whatever the opposite of that is, I have it. I looked at the person on the video monitor and thought, "Who is THAT?" I swear it didn't look anything like me.

I'm not fishing for compliments here. (You're kind, but really, don't bother.) What fascinates me is the distorted view we have of ourselves. Can I be honest and tell you something? I think I look better than I did on that screen.

My friend Pope and I decided its just an overload of positive self image. I imagine its a matter of perspective. When I am on the inside looking out, I feel confident. I like me. I could make some improvements, certainly, but as a whole I am happy with me. But when the angle is altered, when I'm on the outside looking in (in this case through a video monitor), its a different picture.

Tell me. Am I alone on this? Is this just a woman thing? Does your self confidence get a bit banged up when your view changes?

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