I was sitting in a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago. As I sipped my raspberry latte and flipped through a Nick Bantock book, the man at the next table poured out his life story. "My Mother is not a very nice person. I hate to say it but it's true. My Father was never really there for me. I was a great disappointment to him. My brother is emotionally disconnected from the family and my sister is always trying to fix us."

He went on for the next 20 minutes, elaborating on each family member and how their personality triats shaped him into the loser he is today.

At first I thought the man was talking on a cell phone. I never heard another voice. Finally, his companion exused herself. They exchanged social pleasantries and the man said, "I enjoyed meeting you. I hope we can meet again sometime."

Not likely, Buster.

We are a therapy nation and if we can't afford to pay some one to listen, we'll browbeat anyone within earshot with our complex psychosis. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of therapy. I've yet to meet one person who couldn't benefit from a few hours with a professional, but we need to get a grip.

Let me make this easy for you: Your parents are just people. They did the best they knew how to do...or they didn't. Either way, you survived. Make it count.

Get help if you need help. Develop friendships. (It's okay to need a shoulder occasionally as long as this doesn't become your friend's full time job.) Pick up the pieces and move on. We are all the sum of our experiences, both good and bad. You have survived! Make it count!