...as a bridesmaid. Just after high school, my friend Tracey was planning to get married. She had planned an elaborate wedding for the fall. But when her fiance got orders for deployment to the Persian Gulf, things had to be stepped up. Quickly. Six months of plans had to be accomplished in 3 days. The wedding dress hadn't even been purchased. There I stood in JC Penney's in a semi formal white gown, the hem of the dress piling up on the floor. "It's perfect," I said. "We'll take it." The lady knelt, pins in her mouth and gathered the billowed material around my feet. "It must be hemmed, of course," she said. "No, it's fine, " I explained. "The bride is 5' 8." Tonya called to ask me to be her matron of honor for her second wedding. "The color theme is powder pink," she told me excitedly. "I had to wear pink at your last wedding," I groaned. She was quick to correct me. "No you didn't! That was dusty rose." Michelle was driving home from her wedding rehearsal, still unsure of the commitment she was abouto make. She prayed, "God, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. Please give me a sign." The next thing she remembered was the paramedic asking her if she knew her name. She had fallen asleep, driven off the road and hit a tree. She was unhurt, except for severe bruising on her face. It took a bottle of Cover girl to hide the purple and yellow marks. She asked for a sign. God ran her into a tree and she STILL married the guy.

I've retired twice from the bridesmaid business, putting the word out that I would never again wear a puffy-sleeved, fashionably colored taffeta dress with fitted bodice and accent bow to witness a wedding. And twice friends have won me over with the emotional plea of, "It just wouldn't be the same without you." But, truly this is the last time.

My parents will celebrate 29 years as they renew their vows at the end of April. I'll stand by the bride; overdressed, overcoiffed. And repeat in my head the bridesmaids' mantra I know so well. "This dress makes me look like a cow and my feet are KILLING me! This dress makes me look like a cow and my feet are KILLING me! This dress....."